Originally Posted May 2015
As we approach Mother’s Day, a day that is traditionally wrought with angst for me, I feel like, for the first time, I am coming into my own as a mom. You guys, as I type that sentence tears have streamed my face. These tears are a mixture of pain and joy and for that I am blessed.
For so long I have struggled with trying to be the kind of mom I pictured in my mind. A picture influenced by the world because of my own motherless childhood. I was more concerned with getting things right, following rules, and being the best. In doing so I completely rid myself of the things that make me, me. I hid my personality, my quirks, my talents, my dreams. I was not being who God created me to be because I didn’t feel worthy.
So, hear this my fellow mommas: God uniquely created you. He knows every fiber of your being. And still, He chose you, he chose me, to be the mother of our children. He didn’t choose that mom you wished you could be, he chose you, he chose me, knowing fully who we are.
Is that not an amazingly freeing truth? Well… To be honest it has taken some time to accept that truth. However, living out that truth has proven to be even more difficult. Now that I was free to be me, I had to figure out who the heck that was.
In Jen Hatmaker’s new book For The Love, released on August 18th, she writes:
“Do we want our kids to reflect on their mothers and have absolutely no idea what we loved? What we were good at? What got our pulses racing and minds spinning? Don’t we want them to see us doing what we do best?”
I was gut punched when I read those words. I have lived a separate life. I was being a mom to my kids and a woman to the world. It never occurred to me that it was okay to be both.
And so, as I travel on this journey of living life as a worthy mom I have been freed to allow my children to know my heart. They get to see me not only as their mommy who cooks, cleans, disciplines, supports and loves but also as a child of God who is trying to live the life He created me to live. That my friends is the true legacy we as mothers should be leaving our children.